My Personal History, Kagayaki Miyazaki2. Hate to Lose

My build was small since I was a child and I wasn't physically powerful. Yet my determination not to lose was strong. Maybe because of my father's teachings, I had a stronger sense of right and wrong than others.
Back then, the prominent figures of the village were the mayor, the principal, the doctor, and so forth. There was one child who was acting pretty big on account of a parent’s occupation, and he often bullied other children.
Feeling some kind of righteous anger, one day I warned him to stop acting so big. Since he showed no sign of remorse, I even pushed him into the muddy river flowing by his house to teach him a lesson.
I went to Yamada Elementary School (currently Azuma-cho Otsuka Elementary School). It was a 40-minute walk from our village, so we went to a small branch school on a hill until our fourth year.
In our fifth year we would finally go to the main school, but the homeroom teacher would discriminate between us branch-school students and the main-school students. It was so bad that I led the students from the branch school in a march on the principal's house, demanding that he change the homeroom teacher. A dozen or so of us went there carrying brooms and chanting "unfair discrimination."
Whether or not for that reason, the teacher went to a different school after that. On the day he left, he gathered all the students in the schoolyard and shouted, "All who live shall die, and all who meet shall part." I could have gotten expelled for leading the protest, but the principal was a great man and this incident actually made him favor me.
It was this principal who advised me to go to middle school. My parents wanted me to go to teacher's school, but the principal persuaded them to let me go to middle school. At the time, most students with good grades in such a countryside place would go to teacher's school, and almost no one went to middle school. Everything I am today is thanks to this principal.
I went to Nagasaki Prefectural Shimabara Middle School (currently Shimabara High School) in Shimabara-shi. It was far away from my home, so I stayed at a temple in the city called Seiunji. The principal also introduced me to the temple, maybe because he thought it would be a good place for my mental and physical training, too.
Life at the temple was tough, and I did get mental and physical training. I woke up every morning around four, dusted the main hall and corridors with a cloth, cleaned up the vast premises, and did seated meditation with the trainee monks. After we chanted sutras, it was time to prepare breakfast. I really was incredibly busy.
Breakfast was humble, but always delicious to me since I was so active from early morning. More than anything, I was happy to feel refreshed both mentally and physically every morning. The school was only a 10-minute walk from the temple. Once the classes were over, I usually went straight back. There was no time to play as I had to collect old grave tablets and pick up dead branches to heat up the bath and then help prepare supper. In the evening, I studied, read, and learned sutras.
A philosophy magazine called "Light of Asia" was delivered to the temple, and I often read it. It was difficult for me at first, but gradually I was able to understand. By my fourth or fifth year of middle school, I became interested in Indian philosophy.
I even thought of becoming a monk, but seeing how the monks lived on a daily basis made me lose interest. Their lives were filled with decadence. The alcohol, women, and gambling seemed even worse than in the secular world. This was a disappointment for a pure-hearted middle-schooler, so I gave up on following a religious path.
On graduation day, I read the valedictory speech. The final words were "With so many paths to take, I fear losing my sheep." My days in middle school were tough but fulfilling.